Thursday, December 2, 2010

New Profile: Proof of How Ambitious I Suddenly Am

  •  Ever since I got distracted a third of the way through writing out and arranging my profile page on hubpages I've always wished it wasn't so shitty, maybe even profesionalish.
  • Since I've finally decided that I can make a good amount of money writing these articles if I treat it like a job and consistently keep posting good new articles that are set up to actually earn some money I've started on a brand new profile-y deal desighned to entice those who see it into reading my articles as well as maybe convincing people who were interested about who wrote my articles that I'm awesome and they should read even more of my stuff.
  • Also I hear its a good idea to present yourself as a profesional as my hubs will likely be something I would point to as evidence of my valuable awesome win skills when I try and further my web writing carreeer or even regular writing.
  • I fear however that so far my urge to entertain has gotten a bit out of hand and knocked it out of the proffesional-ish seeming range.
  • This is like the first half
  • Brackets indicate what will be a hyperlink to one of my hub articles.
 A freelance writer, novelist, and stand-up comedian Falsor tries to eak  out a living until he gets his novels published and becomes a  multi-billionaire by publishing articles here for your perusal. Writing  mostly about stories, things he finds entertaining, and the art of  writing itself his articles are varied in style, format, and subject  matter. His goal (aside from ensuring he stays fed and housed) is to  create things that readers find interesting; usually by presenting  entertaining and (occasionally) educational groups of carefully chosen  words arranged in an effective manner. Falsor also tires of referring to  himself in the third person after about a paragraph or so.

Since my university's english department lacked a creative writing track I settled for studying english literature and literary criticism. I found that even when the subject material was boring to me I quite enjoyed the process of analysing a work and then organizing my thoughts about it as clearly, concisely, and convinsingly as possible into academic essays such as [innisfree and haircut].
In addition to being an aspiring novelist I am a stand up comedian as well (possibly the only carreer path even more financially unsound than being a genera fiction writer; I'm a real winner) and I've posted [right field] and other stand up routines adapted for the less intimate format of an internet article as well as a number of other less formal peices I thought you might enjoy such as my [new lexicon for trash talking people] and a [list of some of my insomnia inspired epiphanies] 
 History, especially military history, has always been fascinating to me  and I've writen a number of articles attempting to impress not just the  dry explanation of who, what, and why things took place, but with an  appreciation of what those events and people would have been like if you  were there. Dunkard's Church was not just a strategic point in the  middle of the battle of Antietem it was one of the most unholy  shitstorms any american has ever found himself in and it lasted all day  long. People who are bored by certain parts of history often don't  really understand the implications of facts they hear unless they know  how those facts came to be. For example the [casualty rates of soldiers  in the civil war dwarf those of any other american conflict]; on its own  this information is trivia to most people until they understand just how  unprepared the union and confederate militaries were for the previously  unimaginable potentcy of the weapons they were now capable of building.  They were essentially men who were used to fighting with pistols that  were suddenly given grenade launchers instead, but kept trying to duel  ten paces from eachother in the middle of the street.

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