Friday, December 24, 2010

Book Update (Modsoldiers)

  • Recently I've been working really had on Modsoldiers, the oldest and furthest along of the novels I'm writing. I finished a very rough draft and began parsing through it line by line scene by scene chapter by chapter rewriting, clarifying, and generally improving it. I think I made the revised sections easier to understand, more entertaining, and much better integrated onto the story as a whole. There were two or three sections I ended up leaving to come back to later because I just couldn't seem to get them right; this was a great idea because then I was able to make progress instead of letting those few sections take up all of my energy. Finally, aside from the afore mentioned ass pain sections I have reached the end of the novel. I quickly decided that rather than reworking the conclusion scenes I had I should essentially rewrite then end, I want the book to end on an exciting awesome high note rather than the fairly mediocre final battle and resolution I had.
  • Deciding to redo the end has been plaguing me for days no though as I knew kind of what I wanted it to be but couldn't seem to crank it out; but tonight I think I finally have it, I havent finished writing it but I have an outline of how things go down and it seems like exactly what I wanted without any of the awkwardness I hadn't even realized the other ending had.
  • Once I've cranked out this end chapter I'll go back to the skipped or skimmed over sections and have to make some kind of judgement about them I fear I may end up cutting two of these segments out completely even though I really wanted to include them because I think they may be causing troubles because they end up being unnescesary and more trouble than they're worth. An old english teacher once told me if I cant make something fit it might be because it is unnescesary. Always edit out anything unnescesary.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Fuck Warm Guns

Happiness is a good book

Thursday, December 2, 2010

New Profile: Proof of How Ambitious I Suddenly Am

  •  Ever since I got distracted a third of the way through writing out and arranging my profile page on hubpages I've always wished it wasn't so shitty, maybe even profesionalish.
  • Since I've finally decided that I can make a good amount of money writing these articles if I treat it like a job and consistently keep posting good new articles that are set up to actually earn some money I've started on a brand new profile-y deal desighned to entice those who see it into reading my articles as well as maybe convincing people who were interested about who wrote my articles that I'm awesome and they should read even more of my stuff.
  • Also I hear its a good idea to present yourself as a profesional as my hubs will likely be something I would point to as evidence of my valuable awesome win skills when I try and further my web writing carreeer or even regular writing.
  • I fear however that so far my urge to entertain has gotten a bit out of hand and knocked it out of the proffesional-ish seeming range.
  • This is like the first half
  • Brackets indicate what will be a hyperlink to one of my hub articles.
 A freelance writer, novelist, and stand-up comedian Falsor tries to eak  out a living until he gets his novels published and becomes a  multi-billionaire by publishing articles here for your perusal. Writing  mostly about stories, things he finds entertaining, and the art of  writing itself his articles are varied in style, format, and subject  matter. His goal (aside from ensuring he stays fed and housed) is to  create things that readers find interesting; usually by presenting  entertaining and (occasionally) educational groups of carefully chosen  words arranged in an effective manner. Falsor also tires of referring to  himself in the third person after about a paragraph or so.

Since my university's english department lacked a creative writing track I settled for studying english literature and literary criticism. I found that even when the subject material was boring to me I quite enjoyed the process of analysing a work and then organizing my thoughts about it as clearly, concisely, and convinsingly as possible into academic essays such as [innisfree and haircut].
In addition to being an aspiring novelist I am a stand up comedian as well (possibly the only carreer path even more financially unsound than being a genera fiction writer; I'm a real winner) and I've posted [right field] and other stand up routines adapted for the less intimate format of an internet article as well as a number of other less formal peices I thought you might enjoy such as my [new lexicon for trash talking people] and a [list of some of my insomnia inspired epiphanies] 
 History, especially military history, has always been fascinating to me  and I've writen a number of articles attempting to impress not just the  dry explanation of who, what, and why things took place, but with an  appreciation of what those events and people would have been like if you  were there. Dunkard's Church was not just a strategic point in the  middle of the battle of Antietem it was one of the most unholy  shitstorms any american has ever found himself in and it lasted all day  long. People who are bored by certain parts of history often don't  really understand the implications of facts they hear unless they know  how those facts came to be. For example the [casualty rates of soldiers  in the civil war dwarf those of any other american conflict]; on its own  this information is trivia to most people until they understand just how  unprepared the union and confederate militaries were for the previously  unimaginable potentcy of the weapons they were now capable of building.  They were essentially men who were used to fighting with pistols that  were suddenly given grenade launchers instead, but kept trying to duel  ten paces from eachother in the middle of the street.

My Quote For Other Inept Jobhunters

I had always heard prostitution was the oldest profession I just never realized it was the only profession.

The Problem of The Potential Employer Who Knows How to Interwebs

  • As I stated previously I decided to set this blog aside as a place where I could just throw up whatever crap I feel like without regard for how bad it might look to most or all others. I have liked having it, even though no one really reads it posting my thoughts where anyone and everyone could see and read them helps me commit to them more in my own mind. Also it gives me somewhere to give into my lazyness/immature vulgarity/and impatience with grammer so I can pursue the rest of my undertakings with less fear of these things surfacing where it matters. Also its been great as a freewriting/journaling exercise.
  • Unfortunatly as my hunt for an IRL job has continued fruitlessly for months I've boned up on all the ridiculous stupid shit one needs to do to make it seem as though they are the second coming of christ risen again specifically for the purpose of being the greatest employee the prospective employer could have ever fathomed. I've even managed to mostly get over my distaste for the hoop jumping, I'll play the game because goddamnit I have to I need a job and if thats how to get one I'll do it to the best of my abilities.
  • I mention this in relation to my unencumbered blog here because I know know a potential employer is likely to E-stalk me to try and asses me based on my facebook page/twitter/other websites and whatnot. This unfortunatly means that I really should go over every inch of my online presence and sanitize and polish it in the same way I have to portray myself in the real world around potential employers so it says nothing about me except that I'd be a great employee for them.
  • This makes me sad, a prospective employer might very well decide that someone who posts on the internet about how he guages fart odor is not the mature kind of individual they would like to hire. I don't want to have to play the good missionary boy in every aspect of my life especially here on the internet. That would be so boring I tire of the whitewash routine.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Fart Guaging For The Anosmic

  • Anosmia is the lack of a sense of smell. It is what Dewy Cox has refered to as, "Goin' nose blind."
  • I am anosmic though occasionally and for no adequately explained reason I can smell things; occasionally the things I smell are not present like nose hallucinations.
  • With no sense of smell I cannot tell how bad my farts smell though I believe there is a correlation between the stinkyness of my farts and how warm my butt feels when I fart.
  • Do other people notice any such relation? Research and understanding of butt warmth/foul odor correlation will be invaluable to my efforts to warn nearby individuals of impending methane exposure.
  • hmmm perhaps I should ask a biologist about possible sensory reaction to methane density aside from its distinctive odor.
  • Also worthy of note: I never really thought farts smell bad, maybe that's a learned behavior. They always seem kind of warm and earthy; I found the smell reassuring really. 
  • Apparently women have migraines more than twice as often as men. Sister's can't catch a break. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm sure glad I don't have to put up with the shit women do.
  • Hmmm I'm about halfway through 27 Dresses and so far I'm really liking it; I like Fevered Pitch, but that was fine it's kind of about baseball and has a comedian in it. 27 Dresses has the guy who plays the X-Man nobody likes the best part of the movies was him finally getting blown the fuck up. I'm not a homophobe but american culture is so I really don't want to be "the guy who secretly likes chick flicks" it would be very inconvenient.
  • "all successful artifacts are outcomes of cumulative improvements." is your quote for the day.
  • "All artifacts are fucked up repetedly until tthey aren't fucked up." is the paraphrase of the day.
  • I have to amend that paraphrase. some things are fucked up until the creator says fuck it and sells it anyway.

          Friday, May 7, 2010

          News on el Book

          • Well I now have a beggining middle and end outlined for not one but two books. I've been focusing pretty exclusively on the first book for fairly obvious reasons.
          • The current stage of the writing process is exciting, fun, liberating, and scary.
          • I just go through the innards deciding how I can do each stage of the story to provide maximum awesome/make sense which is fun.
          • at the same time this is my greatest chance to fail to make it any good.
          • I'm worried it is going to be longer than publishers want it to be.

          Tuesday, May 4, 2010

          More Musings (mmmm aliteration)

          • After I posted my article on ADHD I ended up doing more research on it than I have in a while because I was whoring for backlinks on related sites.
          • So far the knowledge gained has been worth more than the approximatly zero links I ended up getting.
          • now I have cool terms like "difficulty self-initiating" I know exactly what that means, now I just has a better sounding explanation for it than. "I'm not sure, I sat down to do it and looked at the paper... and then didn't do it..."
          • For some reason discovery of a term for it has led to my creating methods for dealing with it. I knew of the phenomenon and hadn't been able to come up with much but I learned some shiney multi-sylabic words and presto.
          • one of the methods is to ensure I'm rockin' happy when I start: cue Nightwish Gundam AMV.
          • I might post more articles about ADHD as a result, though no one fucking reads the first one.
          • If you're ever in a band named Nightwish never change your lead singer, at least a million percent of your fans will never get over it .
          • What do commandos call walking around without underwear?

              Monday, May 3, 2010

              hmmm Twitter and Redgage Stack

              I twittered a redgage article that was just a summary and a link to a hub, and I have zero followers. Somehow this brought a crap-load of people to my redgage account; my brain hurts.

              all these links to my hub kind of disrupt whatever vestigial goodness this blog may have otherwise had, I hate the things but frankly a backlink's a backlink.

              Thucydides History of Peloponnesian War Accuracy

              Thucydides History of Peloponnesian War Accuracy

              Friday, April 30, 2010

              Sonnet Rhyme Scheme and Literary Poetry Terms

              Sonnet Rhyme Scheme and Literary Poetry Terms

              Write More of This?

              • I have attempted to add another reaction button option. If you want me to write more of something you should click it.
              • Wow fuck the reactions widget it makes you think you can do things with it but really you can just take it in the pooper.
              • Ha I won, though I had rather hoped people other than chantards would click it, oh well.
              • Hmmm it appears the reactions icons can only take up so much room. this makes sense but it gets confusing when the post preview DOES display them.
              • hmmm I wonder if there is a way to instal a second row of them, or moar?
              • I have found that hubs I've written from scratch were actually faster to write, prepare, and post than adjusting old things I had. curious. 
              • If I count the cost of my caffine as overhead, I'm actually losing money on my online endeavors...

              Constructive Criticism

              1. The more gracious a writer is in accepting constructive criticism the louder the voice at the back of their mind is screaming, "Slay them, they have slandered my child and MUST BE PUNISHED!"
              2. That's not me I'm kind of good about it. My first reaction is usually the words, "yea, but-" followed by a mini-seizure for a second or two, then I'll kind of smile and say, "please continue, I value your feedback its just that my subconscious has to beaten back."

              Gospel According to Mark Commentary (Mark chapter 14 and 15)

              Gospel According to Mark Commentary (Mark chapter 14 and 15)

              Thursday, April 29, 2010

              The Witch Trials of Salem Hysteria

              The Witch Trials of Salem Hysteria

              Analysis of Short Story Haircut; the Unreliable Narrator and Evidence of Murder

              Thats right moar literary analysis. I'm interested to see if short story analysis is as popular as poetry analysis.

              Analysis of Short Story Haircut; the Unreliable Narrator and Evidence of Murder

              Wednesday, April 28, 2010

              The Second Wind is Definatly a Trade Wind/Holy Crap a Follower!

              • Well ME2S looks possibly more promising than it ever has.
              • I'm doing a lot of character work reinventing some who weren't up to snuff, reworking others so they are more like what they were originally supposed to be.
              • the most significent accomplishment of my character overhaul is Cron a character who is important both to the plot of the story and the theme of the novel. I had only had the most intangible conception of what he was supposed to be and as a result and as such his character has fluctuated wildly in some areas. I knew he had to do certain things but so far I hadn't really been able to explain a reason for his often seemingly contradictory actions.
              • Cron has been a good guy, then a bad guy, but now I think I have him nailed down. He's armpit deep in morally ambiguous. His intentions are on their face the purest you could imaginable but if machiaveli met him he would be like "goddamn that guys manipulative; makes me look like a hippy searching for truth and beuty in the world.
              • I am celebrating a new follower, bryanime now joins blatva and sally the imaginary hypothetical blog reader in the rank of people who actually read this shit. unlike the other two he even signed up as a follower.
              • I stumbled onto wil wheaton's (sp?) blog. at first I was like, "heh thi guy has the same name as Wesley Crusher's actor. Huh he even twitters with someone named Brent Spiner... Oh. My. God.
              • Wil's twitter is probably as interesting as a twitter can be. He's a "power user"
              • Brent Spiner's twitter was extremely surreal. the whole time I was like, "this is the man who brought Data to life..." it was even more surreal because he sounded just like a normal boring everyday guy except one of his tweets, which was delivered as just another peice of everyday news, was like. "anyway, stopped by NASA's jet propulsion labrotory today to narrate a video. those guys are really cool. then I bought groceries." If I had been chillin with the jetlab people my tweet would have been a link to a video of me running around flailing my arms in the air and screaming the lyrics to the Final Countdown or some shit.
              • note: I'm paraphrasing.
              • If for no other reason I'm glad I stumbled onto wil's stuff because he has confirmed my long held beleif that brent is actually a pretty awesome guy IRL. I get pissed when I find my childhood role models turn out to be douchebags. Thank you for not being a douche bag Mr. Spiner.
              • Beyond Wil's twitter though I read a lot of his blog. It seemed like just a coincidence that he happened to also be the guy who played Wesley (which I think is kind of the point) once I started reading his blog. the blog is really fucking good; I enjoyed reading it. I barely like reading any of my own fucking blog so this is high praise for me.
              • Wil's is supernerd he sounds like me except with connections. one of his posts made sure to clarify that the old school DnD books he was getting from a friend were first edition but not first printing. his nostalgia posts for the next few days reminded me of my own deep and abiding love of the 3.5 edition draconomicon.
              • seriously check his shit out.
                • Must return to my writing but perhaps will write more here later today.

                Monday, April 26, 2010

                A Creative Second Wind?

                • I've had a number of breakthroughs on ME2S today, several of them are solutions to very fundamental problems. a lot of these solutions seem like I re-grasped the orginional thoughts and inspirations for choices made at the earliest stages of the stories creation except that now I can better articulate and apply these inspirations.
                • This is a big fucking deal for me I think, I was on the verge of abandoning the project as having hit a dead end as the last two weeks or so all of my writing and planning for the story seemed kind of bland and uninspiring, it had disolved into people blowing things up and very forced awkward attempts to illustrate developing character relationships that I know means the story is now just shit. but starting yesterday and again today while juggling a ton of freelance writing stuff and a sort of listless apathetic mood I came up with a number of concrete ideas that incorporated well into the fabric of the story and gave it life again as well as solving problems I had and answering unanswered details and plot holes along the way.
                • I think I may have just been trying too hard, whatever the difference is I have to figure it out because without the kind of insight and clarity of purpose I've been having I would be relegated  to creating loads of drivel, with it I have zing! pow! pop! stories.

                Analysis of characters and the escapism theme in the short stories “Rock Springs” and “Goodbye, My Brother”

                Analysis of characters and the escapism theme in the short stories “Rock Springs” and “Goodbye, My Brother”

                Go Me!

                • There's nothing quite like getting invited to a graduation party on accident because the host, "thought you were graduating like everybody else." Well no... I'm not, I'm too buisy being unemployed and trying to get people to read my writings (and failing). Oh well if I look on the bright side... Oh wait, that's right. Nevermind.
                I just saw an add to DL internet explorer free... thats like a restaurant advertising that they'll provide utensils free of charge.
                  • That being said I do have good news I've made a major breakthrough on my current novel project ME2S.
                  • before saying more I feel some explanation is required, I have several book ideas, in order to differentiate between them and the legion of other documents I have I assign each of them a project name which saves me the trouble of refering to ME2S as the sci-fi space opera with the supersoldier story. Also by just giving them a monicker that will remind me which story  it is I don't have to prematurly try and think about what the title will be.
                  • project names are also helpfful for organization every article, story, essay etc that I write I try and give a project name. every document related to that project will have its file name and title begin with the project name.
                  • Anyway I started ME2S back in january which for me is a new project. I really resolved I was going to try and push through and finish this one, even if it did turn out bad. I have too many unfinished books, most of which I fear I won't ever return to. Usually I cannot end these stories. So I have constantly kept an outlined end that is a logical conclusion to the story in mind as my first goal. I figure once I have the beggining end and a good idea of what goes in the middle finishing the novel will only be a matter of time, (if modsoldiers was any iindication a long ass time full of hard work).
                  • My attempts to establish myself as a freelance writer over the last moth however seemed to have torn the heart out of my gusto for this story. I've been working on it still but not my usual obssesiveness.
                  • for the last two months I felt I had been closing in on a definitive end to the story other than "and then the good guys won."
                  • today I was wondering how much I had typed in my project mindmap which contains all written oassages, the outline(s) and my substantial notes and worldbuilding. So I copied the entire thing into word and did word count. It was over 90,000 words. That is alot of words considering 2/3rds of it are mostly outline. I thought it may have just been the world building material throwing me off so I removed it. 71,000 words. that would make the finished story somewhere between 150 and 200k words; I already have enough trouble with the word limit guidelines publishers insist on, there is no way a modern publisher is going to pay a first time author for war and peace redux.
                  • This story is however a happy one. after glancing at the word count a third time I guess you could say I had a moment of clarity. I had written two books. there is an excelent ending point almost exactly halfway through my outline and another good ending ppoint at the very end. furthermore the first and second half are different in ways that would make a single novel likely to fail but as a book and a sequel their differences couldn't have been planned better. the second book is bigger broader in scope, while the second details the struggle of a small group trying to alert man to a grave danger the second is the beggining of man's response. While the first book has a top of the line frigate the second places Raigin in command of a massive fleet. while in the first they must seek out the aid of individuals in the second it is factions and nations who are the players though the main characters are still very much the driving forces of the story. in essence I accidentally set up a perfectly integrated pair of novels. Yesterday I was worried I wouldn't be able to settle on a good ending for the novel. today I have two solid endings for two novels. w00t!
                  • as with all of my other stories/novels save 1 or 2 I feel bad because I don't think my novel will do the world I created for it justice. many of the worlds I have built I am without a doubt proud of, whereas my stories quality gives me ulcers and keeps me up at night. 
                  • If ever you're stuck on part of a story, kill a character works every time.

                        Sunday, April 25, 2010

                        Animes Like This One: How to Find Similar Anime

                        Animes Like This One: How to Find Similar Anime

                        This is my first article on how to go about finding an anime series you will like. I like to think I have mastered anime recommendation and with this article I make my first attempt to share this ability with the masses.

                        I'm actually rather proud of this hub. I wrote it from scratch in a single sitting, but took my time enough so that it isn't a rushed piece of garbage, did keyword research, and published an article that I think many will find useful. Now all I need is to get people to see it.

                        Saturday, April 24, 2010


                        Sometimes, most of the time, inspiration is a small thing an idea a hint, a thought of what I should do. sometimes though it is all consuming, and today this has happened, I see before myself entire scenes and I can see and feel these entire sequences through the eyes of several characters, I understand them like they are myself. excitement does not doe the feeling justice it is though thousands of voltws of electricity are about to explode out of my body in a giant electrical storm. I jitter I twitch aas i type nearly every word is a typo as my fingers jerk and surge with excitement, two unique round developed characters have been born in my is as though I can become any of three different people now. I see a story before them but more than a plot there is a feeling, an emotion or a map to deterine the twisting changing emotion their story will inevitably bring. the characters are more than a pair though either could exist without the other but together the two become something more something greater, an entire opera is spawned by their briefest interaction each meeting makes another an absolute inevitability. it is as though a story had existed since the birth of the universe and only now has it revealed itself. it is something not created but born, a single solid whole that can exist only one way and I am now aware of its existence it is only left to me to put it into words, I pray I don't fuck it up. I'll bet those reading this think I'm tottally out of my fucking mind. I'm not crazy I swear.

                        Thursday, April 22, 2010

                        Musings General Enough That They cannot really be Given a Proper Title

                        • My title seems to be a paradox
                        • I think its more likely than not that someone, probably a psychologist, specializes in the study of masterbation; a masterbatologist. I'm also going to bet that this person fucks up at least a third of their first impressions through no fault of their own. if someone asks what you do for work, you can't, no matter how frank and professionally you treat the matter tell someone you study masturbation. If that poor individual is somehow reading my blog I would like you to know I have a solution. from now on when asked about your profession tell them you do some work for the state department but you can't really talk about it. (because if you say you work for the CIA flat out noone will believe you. setting up a scenario where people can feel proud of themselves for putting two and two together and arrive at the conclusion your in the CIA on their own is 400% more effective. plus or minus 2.5%
                        • Pet Peeve of mine: Windows media player takes a few minutes to play a song I select after the program has been opened, the pause is long enough that when the music does start it is 90% likely to scare the shit out of me. 
                        • I could post a hub but I soo don't feel like keyword research right now. 
                        • Well I published it but really I'm not all that happy with it, this is a subject I can dominate and this hub is far from as good as I can make it. i'll be interested to see If i ever take the time to redo it. 
                        • I may have made a breakthrough on my current novel project, a new ending or rather the way the end goes down is different and seems more... right; like it fits.

                            Wednesday, April 21, 2010

                            Tuesday, April 20, 2010

                            Online Acronyms, lol Speak, and Text Jargon Pocket Dictionary

                            Online Acronyms, lol Speak, and Text Jargon Pocket Dictionary

                            Some people don't understand me when I speak. This is a problem.

                            Monday, April 19, 2010

                            Holy Crap 2 Readers

                            • blatva and Sally reborn I suspect.
                            • The first time I saw lol I thought it was an ASCII art TIE Fighter, I'm that nerdy.

                            Sunday, April 18, 2010

                            Today I Whip Out My First Journal Like Post

                            1. fuck the book review thing for this post I'm nowhere near optomistic enough to think I'll make money off of it ever. the reviews themselves are worth more than anything I'll make off them and there's a good chance they're total shit and the world is worse off for their creation.
                            2. I learned today. More Importantly at several points I had sufficient self esteem to actually go through with implementing some of what I learned. I think all those attempted implementations were successful. you want to know what one of my big advances was? control click DOES open windows in new tabs I don;t have to right click and select it from the menu every time. I also made a shitload of adsense channels so I don't have to open analytics and sort through the piles of data to see which hub made my most recent negligible monetary gains.
                            3. I also think I learned some deep interpersonal dynamics shit in my family but ADHD could totally file that in the boring immediately forgotten section of my brain so not sure if that epiphany will be there a month from now. I'm sure about the new tab things though. unless I suddenly stop wanting to open windows in different tabs for a long period of time I'll have that shit until they change the system.
                            4. I saw the chris rock movie today. it literally could not have been more predictable. that being said some of the predictable old jokes and gags were somehow done so fucking well they were still funny. Note: I've seen more of these movies than any of you blog readers likely have and I'm a writer who cant stop deconstructing fiction I encounter so you'll all likely fucking like it, unless its because its just not your taste.
                            5. I also saw chosen one with carmen electra; it is bad don;t fucking watch it though you might want to google the sex scene if your into that sort of thing *wink*
                            6. shit my one reader is a girl I shouldn't talk about googleing sex scenes. oh well if your still here blatva it would probably take more than that to put you off. you too sally. (for those of you just joining us Sally is a probably fake viewer, it was origionally blatva but now that I know the mystery reader was blatva I still kind of picture sally in addition to blatva thus sally is reborn)
                            7. that sally bit couldn;t have made any fucking sense my bad, I'm not deleting it.
                            8. somebody asked me today what my blog was about... I just sort of mumbled which I guess is as good a summary as can be given.

                            Thursday, April 15, 2010

                            WWII American Japanese Internment, Kent State, Abu-Ghraib, and their Roots in Revolution Era Patriotism

                            WWII American Japanese Internment, Kent State, Abu-Ghraib, and their Roots in Revolution Era Patriotism

                            Oh the Irony

                            I have been searching around for a "niche" or a subject I can write articles about that is high enough in demand and low enough in supply that I can make a reasonable profit off of it. so far the closest things I have found are poetry and history of the woman's rights movement. I leave school and end up writing the same shit. It makes sense though, hardly anybody wants to write poetry much less write about poetry but its still a very large portion of English lit curriculum so a significant number of people have to seek out information about poems and such. Part of me wonders about the moral implications of writing articles that I know will attract mostly students looking for an essay to plagiarize. lulz plagiarists: best target audience ever. I wonder what the conversion rates for plagiarist page views are?

                            Tuesday, April 13, 2010


                            • I received a very nice email from someone, they seemed to feel the writing here was good and encouraged me quite a lot. Thank you somewhat anonymous internet person.
                            • lulz it turns out that message wasn't intended for me. fuck it I don't care.
                            • Big news: I have broken the one dollar mark . I have made 1.15 in two weeks. Analytics tells me my Modsoldiers excerpt should make 113$ per every thousand page views. now all I need to do is maximize my page views, and, of course, make more pages.
                            • This is nice I guess the lack of anything happening is starting to affect my self esteem and thus my ability to work in-spite of the fact that I know this is supposed to take months.
                            • Even better news: I soon suspected that one of a couple of my friends who I have recently complained of my lack of clicks to had clicked on an add on one of my pages to inflate my earnings artificially. well godbless analytics I was able to find out that whoever clicked was using internet explorer and neither of the two would be caught dead using IE.

                            Thursday, April 8, 2010

                            Possible Really Neat Idea.

                            I should make a blog but have it be the blog of a fake person. has this been done before I've never heard of it. it probably has... damn. oh well it could still be a good idea; one hellufa character development tool. though it now occurs to me I can't think of many of my existing characters who would conceivably blog except the buisness pitch type blogs. lulz Dael and Halen would blog, that would be funny. I guess I could make up someone living here on earth in the real world but literary fiction has never been my thing. then again I said that about political articles, SEO articles, and health and wellness articles and I've made all of them so maybe.

                            I don't think my friend jake should have dick skinning gloves.

                            Zero Followers

                            The fact somewhat tempers my sense of victory over having made a cent off of this blog. by tempers I mean it toally obliterated it, it was my sense of victory's Midway.

                            Oh Balls I Forgot to Title this One [naomi Novik+I've been looking at other blogs]

                            • why is it that all the blogs I see that belong to a couple or a family are always about how great everything is. some individual blogs are about how fantastic everything is but at least an equal number are angsty shpeels about things and people or life in general and how much they suck or are hard. Or the individual blogs have no prevailing front and just talk about shit. but couples and families its like its illegal to say anything might be other than that they wake up in the morning and have one long G-rated orgasm that lasts until they go to bed, then they repeat this every day.
                            • on a related note I hope I dont sound too bitchy in general, I probably do as complaining helps me blow off steam. also complaining makes better stand-up than cheesy isn't life wonderful shpeels. to make things clear things are actually pretty good at this particular moment but i'm pretty sure within the next couple months the shit is going to hit the fan in a legitimate life sucks sort of way. i guess worrying about that and being frustrated with my inability to get a job is brining me down.
                            • lulz there is an entire well developed blog about what shitbags a company called re-bath and its parent corporation are. Apparently they are pretty large bags of shit, no normal amount of shit went into their bag. they are way past flaming-on-old-man's-porch class shitbags their like industrial manure farming shitbags.
                            • holy shit this blog is 2 years old and their still updating it. it looks like their complaints are legitimate too.

                            • anyway for my semi daily book shpeel: first off I decide which books to do by looking at my bookshelf its to my right i get all hot and bothered looking at them all lined up and awesome.
                            • I was looking through this nifty amazon associates search for product thing next to the new post window for the temeraire series and discovered they were selling a hardcover version of the black powder war for like 147 fucking dollars. I think somebody dun gone fucked up.
                            • anyway I discovered this series when I was standing in a barnes and noble looking through their sci-fi/fantasy section (i know its not a local store but its next to a fucking movie theatre, don't judge me. [if you didn't judge me your a terrible person and I hope walmart puts you out of buisness.])
                            • as I perused the shiney new books I saw this series and read the back of the book. historical fiction about the napoleonic wars except there's dragons... what the fuck? anyway I make regular trips to said BnN because I love movies and books and they're next to eachother. each time I looked for something fantastic the bizzare napoleon+dragons book stared back at me. on one of these visits my ADHD raged and I bought the entire series not being able to resst anymore [at the time the entire series was the first three]. They. Were. Awesome.
                            • unlike ann mccaferys non-violent dragons novaks are the kind I normally like they're born, bred, and trained to fuck shit up and they do. not only that she gave them crews like a sailing ship with the cool clamboring around in the rigging and whatnot except instead of a sailing boat its on a fucking dragon doing midair battle with other flying batches of awesome.
                            • Kazzilik ftw.
                            • anyway these books have great combat throwdowns (thing the final battle from Avatar+more shooting+swords) but they still have great outside of combat story characters etc.

                            Wednesday, April 7, 2010

                            Holy Crap This Blog Made Money!?

                            Adsense informs me this blog, the rambling unedited mess you're reading right now, has made 1 cent. Its a negligible amount but I'm still quite blown away. I'm not really even trying to make money on this blog aside from my book pitching strategy so maybe there is hope for my for-profit endevours.

                            speaking of those endeavors maybe after I write enough of them I can combine them into a list and clean it up to post as a hub. though I don't want to have to write them differently here and trying to make what I write for here proffesional-ish would likely be... challenging.

                            I think this blog may be helping my writing in subtle ways. just now I was writing some background for one of my novel projects and I forgot that I wasn't talking to someone else. I just realized that I've operated in a total feedback vacume for so long when I write I forget I'm supposed to be communicating with other people, I've been writing like I'm the only possible audience. I don't mean like I havent been editing or making sure my sentances are clear I mean at a more basic level my writing was becoming something like an inner dialogue that I happen to edit (or try to edit). thanks internet, your destroying my grammer spelling and punctuation but I think you may just save me anyway.

                            ellipses are the closest I can get to timing things for comic effect in print. our system of writing really could be improved. not that it will the transition is the only impossible part of such a suggestion.

                            Prologue to book pitch: Ann Mccaffery is probably my favorite author which is supprising because they aren't really about wars, there is some combat but its not any more central to the plot than diplomatic dealings, labor negotiations, hell musical training dwarfs combat in terms of how much of the books are dedicated to the topic and its importance in the overall scheme of things. She has dragons and I'm a sucker for dragons but HER DRAGONS ARE EVEN PACIFISTS and I still like her writing the best even though in ALL other instances the dragons ability to put a whole lot of whupass anywhere they want is possibly the biggest part of my attraction to them. I like her books the best just because they are fucking better than anything else even topics I can't help but like.

                            I'm a major fan of good world building and Mccaffery's Pern is excelent, it has realstic politics, sociological problems, social organizations and structures but while they are realistic they are totally origional. living in pernese society would be totally different than any socioeconomic situation most anywhere in the real world but she has even worked it down to the nuts and bolts of the day to day operations of nearly every part of society.

                            ho shit Ima need to write a hub or at least a dedicated post on this I'm getting all excited and I think more erudite as my attraction to the subject stimulates my brain. P.S. this is the benefit of ADHD happening, now that I'm engaged and interested its like having heightened intelligence until for whatever reason I have to think about something else.

                            Ann McCaffery's Pern series are interesting in that for the first 2.5 books of the series you think its fantasy but then it the-sixth-senses your ass and you realize its actually sci-fi, nearly hard sci-fi at that.

                            The Dragonriders of Pern: Dragonflight; Dragonquest; The White Dragon

                            Google Popo Bawa

                            The Jersey Devil ain't got shit!

                            Sally the Phantom Follower Unmasked!

                            It's Blatva. she's "Not the commenting type."
                            Her and 6.5 billion other people I can think of.

                            This free books widget is pretty bitchin. I approve.

                            I wonder how long it took me to notice the "1 comment" notice. it's quite small.

                            This is exciting news. It means I'm not fucking crazy.

                            Ho what is this amazon feature? watch me fail at amazoning. I enjoy verbing.

                            hmmm I didn't fail wouldja lookit that. I like reading john ringo's books but for most of them I think you have to be really into the military sci-fi stuff. through the looking glass seams like it would have a wider appeal though. seriously read this fucking book. ringo has hit on the one rational explanation every American should have the right to carry armor penetrating fire arms: alien invasion via backyard portal. Sorry john your name isn't getting edited to a capital R right now.

                            Ringo's books have clearly improved over time. I liked A Hyme Before Battle but for most of the book I was like "is he still talking about fucking logistics? I realise they're pretty much the real reason wars are won but they sure as hell aren't as interesting as the other elements." Also I never really cared about Sharon O'Neal most the rest of the characters I at least cared a little bit but when she dies I was like, cool don't have to hear about her anymore. Anyway he's defiantly improving I hope that happens/is happening to me.

                            Hmmmm now that I think about it this feature actually presents me with the option of becomeing a semi legit blogger quality book reviewer. it would give my blog a more respectible mission statement than "type shit."

                            Blatva it kind of feels like you killed sally the mythical follower of ancient tales.

                            *Shakes Fist*

                            I really wish there was some way to make realize that I don't meet rhe minimum qualifications for an H-vac technician. why the fuck are there so many h-vac technician openings? I get like 30 emails about h-vac a day.

                            I'd kill for some way of getting regular feedback. unfortunately there's no one I could kill that would accomplish this goal.

                            In other news I've named the chick I think actually follows this blog (yes I decided the phantom follower is a girl... hmmm phantom follower is a good title for her, it alliterates. I like alliteration) Until the Phantom follower reveals herself I'ma call her sally, or until I forget.

                            I'm probably the only person in the world whose first act after winning the lotto would be to hire a good editor. Unfortunately I'm too good at probabilities to play the lotto.

                            why is there a space for a few seconds under my poll when I load the page. I like it much better when its flush. not that I'm getting anal or anything.

                            Who needs to know what browser and OS their site's visitors have? seriously googles like if big brother loved to gossip.

                            Why do American record companies want foreighn bands and whatnot to do their songs in english, who the fuck cares? AKFG should sell records in the US but they'd probably have to do a version with english lyrics for everything. Engrish lyrics are worse than not knowing what the hell they're saying.

                            Simple Instructions to Make Hubs that Earn Money: Monetized Hubbing for Idiots

                            Simple Instructions to Make Hubs that Earn Money: Monetized Hubbing for Idiots

                            This is the same thing as my last post just refined and expanded a bit.

                            Tuesday, April 6, 2010

                            Here's My Idiots Guide to Hubbing for Money

                            A: I want money B: get paid for clicks. C: On average 1 click for every 100 unique page views. Therefore more page views=more money. Therefore I want as many unique page views as possible.

                            Use this process to create Hubs with high traffic:
                            1. Write article
                              1. Write article on something that might make readers end up buying something.
                              2. Google doesn’t like bad grammar and spelling
                              3. use keywords in the article in such a manner that people don’t notice anything odd
                                                                                          i.      one in the beginning of the first paragraph then more spread out through the rest of the article. (I heard 3-5% of the total article from someone…)
                            1. Post Article
                              1. make title and url the same and contain keywords
                            2. google adwords keywords tool.
                              1. Select keywords that are searched frequently enough but aren’t too competitive (Yoshi suggested 300 to 5,000 searches a month as a floor and a ceiling)
                              2. Use keyword phrases with 3+ words
                              3. “shotgun” in addition to crap-load of relevant competitive keywords and misspellings suggested by adwords include some of your own that seem like they would also fit.
                            3. Create backlinks
                              1. social networking
                                                                                          i.      post link to article on every social networking site known to man.
                              1. blog warrior/get links posted on relevant blogs and websites run by others (internet street cred)
                            1. Make sure to have relevant outbound links from article
                            2. Wait 3 months
                            3. ???
                            4. Profit!

                            Monday, April 5, 2010

                            Isn't it All Purdy Now

                            I just spent a couple of hours dicking around with the colors and layout of this blog.

                            hmmm I see pages are really just posts that appear on a page without any other posts.


                            Apparently if I make a new post on the fiction page, it also shows up here. back to the drawing board.

                            A Possible Use for this Page Arises.

                            I was just looking at my main page thinking I wish I had some better way to post continuously on different subjects. Then I remembered this fiction page. This page still may or may not be used to house actual fiction excerpts but it will certainly be used for project updates.

                            Project Update: I think my writing really succeeds when I have an awesome scene in mind. something I can picture vividly. I can write scenes to fill in between these "inspiration scenes" and I think they can be just as good but the longer I go between these uber scenes the shittier the story gets. Cally is now in the middle of a revolt and I get to have my power suit space marines open up a can of wupass as they descend from the heavens. it should be like a 40k thunderhawk gunship had a baby with the air cav scene in apocalypse now.

                            Interesting; Ceiling Cat Smiles Upon Me.

                            My decision to acually write out a (somewhat) thoughtful blogesque post has been rewarded and the internet gods now smile upon me. that one post increased my redgage earnings by a cent.

                            In other news Google searching Falsor Wing now produces my HubPages profile on top or close to it. It may be an unimpressed turtle but it is convenient.

                            I have the suspicion 1 person is actually following this blog but she does not comment or  give feedback except to answer polls. curious. Don't judge me I'm not crazy.

                            What to write/edit... So many priorities.

                            I could work on my current novel project, a project which has been dangerously neglected since the discovery of hubbing and now runs the risk of dying in my imagination and joining the legion of almost novels I've written. I could adapt more old school essays to hub articles but none of them seem like they will lead to marketable hubs. still I guess they could still bring in traffic. I could really let my internet ambitions loose and finish the second half of the failure of the fourth estate or write more about ADHD. I could really go for the gusto and turn one of my hub ideas into reality but I think I would want to take my time and really get my shit together for that first. hmmmmmm, I need a job.

                            Dawson’s Landing as a Character in Pudd’nhead Wilson

                            Dawson’s Landing as a Character in Pudd’nhead Wilson

                            SpoCon Warhammer Tournaments Named Games Workshop National Qualifiers

                            All Spokane area tabletop gamers will be excited to know that SpoCon 2010 has been named a Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 national qualifier by Games Workshop. This means that the top two finishers of this year’s SpoCon Warhammer and Warhammer 40k tournaments will receive an invitation to play in the Vegas Finals Invitational tournament in Las Vegas in 2011 the North American championship tournament. Games Workshop has changed the qualifications system this year and SpoCon hosts one of the tournaments that will now be included in this new system. The transition has forced Games Workshop to extend this years qualification season to 18 months so the winners of SpoCon will not compete at the national level until 2011. This year SpoCon has 20 spots for Warhammer fantasy competitors and 40 for Warhammer 40k, though really only 39 will be available as last year’s champion, Bob Kelley, will likely return and is guaranteed a place. SpoCon’s inclusion as a national qualifier will likely bring a larger number of serious competitors to this years tournaments as players hoping to make an appearance in Las Vegas that have not secured an invitation come to Spokane for another attempt. Those wishing to participate in either the fantasy or the 40k tournaments must register for SpoCon 2010 and contact Big Chris at the SpoCon website before the open spots all fill up.

                            A Lymeric I Wrote in High School

                            There once was a boy named osama.
                            He grew up and became a bomba.
                            He blew up a building,
                            And started the killing,
                            But now he runs home to his mama.

                            Nature Themes in Keats's “To Autumn” and Yeats's “The Lake Isle of Innisfree”

                            Nature Themes in Keats's “To Autumn” and Yeats's “The Lake Isle of Innisfree”

                            ADHD Symptoms: A Sufferer's Explanation

                            ADHD Symptoms: A Sufferer's Explanation

                            Declaration of Sentiments as a Symbol and Microcosm of the Woman’s Rights Movement

                            Declaration of Sentiments as a Symbol and Microcosm of the Woman’s Rights Movement

                            Thursday, April 1, 2010

                            The Case For Caps to Indicate Yelling in Proper English:

                            • What if you yell a question? If you add an exclamation point after a question mark your editor’s ass will clench up so tight he could shit a singularity. [why is it exclamation point instead of mark?]
                            • What if you only yell part of the sentence? Emphasis changes the meaning.
                            • Extensive research by the linguistics research group 4chan has proven its effectiveness to be greater than punctuation marks.
                            • I say it’s a good idea and I wouldn’t lie to you about this; not punctuation.

                            Anti-depressants: A short play:

                            -Pat: I’m depressed, I wish I weren’t.
                            -Pat presses play on track Battle without Honor or Humanity
                            -music starts
                            -Pat: That was… fast. Who made this song and how does their devil magic work?
                            [These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA]

                            The Cross Country Calamity

                            I did cross country my freshman year, I’d hate to sound negative but it was terrible, totally terrible. At meets we would run two laps around an enormous course for a total close to five miles.
                                        In my first race a girl named Shanon Bell lapped me. At first glance this doesn’t seem embarrassing; she went to state and was the best runner the girls team had. The problem was that the girls race started a half our after the boys, nearly everyone finishes the race within a half hour, I got lapped by speedy.
                                        It’s supposed to get you in shape. The reasons people get in shape are things like to give them more energy and stay healthy and many enjoy it. The end result of cross country was the opposite of all those things. I was always exhausted, it hurt to walk up the stairs, and I have never been so close to taking a human life. If I had been able to move after a meet, I’d have made the national news that night.
                                        World of Warcraft is expensive, addictive, and fairly detrimental to your social skills, but there is one fact about it never gets mentioned when it is compared to sports. No one has ever blown out their knee playing World of Warcraft.
                                        Some might feel a sense of accomplishment or triumph upon completing the race but by that time I’m so tired I don’t give a shit. Everyone’s all cheering and peppy when all I want from them is to let me die in peace.
                            I’m never running again. I don’t care if in a burning building I walkin’ out.

                            Wednesday, March 31, 2010

                            Whoever let parents and teachers onto facebook should be shot.

                            this isn't actually OC but I agree. In a totally unrelated note who doesn't have extradition treaties with the US?

                            Tuesday, March 30, 2010

                            Someone actually selected the poll answer "the thought of it gives me hives" actual negative feedback which means others might not just be cheerleaders...

                            hmmm apparently I have or had a reader, It's go time

                            All right hallucination poll buddies what should I do? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA my older posts disapeared already!

                            Oh this is much better

                            It now occurs to me i've been awake since before i discovered this hubbing thing, lulz I'm starting to have poor coordination

                            and my computer was about to catch fire. you're not supposed to leave those thins on for 75 hours

                            MS Word track changes: better than sex.

                            Alright I think I'm back in the saddle (ha suck it man I didn't capitalize all the words in my title)

                            My very first post on this here blog was a bit generic but I kinda like it I think I'll make it the basis for a real blog description. I should also read other blogs so I'll at least have some chance of generating a following, also it will help me write if I don't feel ridiculous and in over my head.

                                  --Take note of that younger writers, a confident state of mind when you are writing is full of win. Self doubt is of course inevitable but I'm used to knowing everything about my novels is fucked and will have to be fixed. you can always edit (so long as your mousepad doesn't click cancel.)
                                 --seeing as how I can't guarantee self confidence at any given point in time I have slowly learned a number of steps I can take to jump start my inner badass (inner badass is similar to chi but is used only by nerds, remember it's inner badass, not actual badass.)
                                [FAWK I need an indent button. I guess I should actually be typing these in word or my super wonder program I'll talk about later.] [by the way I use [] brackets to offset notes to myself they are not parts of whatever sentance they end up in the middle of.]
                                ---the first method for getting all tooled up is music. Epic music that makes your blood pump. for me this is usually movie soundtracks (transformers, jurassic park, pirates of the carribean, LOTOR, star wars) the rumbling reverberation of numerous brass instruments ripping out some John Williams, Hans Zimmer, or whatsisface Horner gets me all revved up. similarly hard rock works for me. If I'm really in a bad way I'll whip out Battle without Honor or Humanity the ultimate "lets do this shit" song. (if you don't know what this song is leave my shitty blog right now and youtube it. I COMMAND YOU).
                                            ---think of this music as the jock jams arenas play before basketball games, its exactly the same concept.

                            The blog description field had a word cap so here is the rest of my rambling intro.

                            Don't feel too bad the deleted introduction, it was frankly generic and a shitfest. As I decided this would be my "how I want to do things" website I have decided having this cop out intro is more acceptable than one that I don't like because its generic.

                            Hmmm that sounded more idealistic than it should have, don't get the wrong impression I'll write some generic stuff but it will be the entertaining generic things like invincible space battleships and armored suits not a blog introduction.

                            I should try to maintain something near proffesionalism even if this is my relax and ramble space but I fucking hate word caps I write novels, long novels in series. I've often been told paring writing down to make a finely honed batch of awesome is how to become a really good writer. I agree with this absolutly, however I'm not there yet so Ima go ahead and take up allllllllllllllll the space I want.

                            Monday, March 29, 2010

                            Subliminal Messages

                            If subliminal messaging really can implant suggestions in a person's subconscious by flashing images or what have you, the internet seems like it would be the perfect delivery system. People will complain about flickering images on the TV but anything that flashes or pops up on the internet will be shrugged of as another add. This is a possible explanation for Google's reign over the internet. Pokemon would also seem a reasonable candidate for the conspiracy; it has flashing images AND is responsible for the largest mass seizure in world history. There you have it; Google and the Pokemon people are in cahoots and you will all soon bow before them.

                            P.S. does anyone know if there is good money in writing about conspiracies. I don't know that much about conspiracy theories, except what I learned from arguing with a NASA-faked-the-moon-landing junkie I went to high school with, but I'll bet I can make something up.

                            P.P.S. Is there a way to make blogger prevent me from posting between 3-11 AM? Otherwise I see additional postings like this one in my future.

                            P.P.P.S. This spellchecker actually recognized cahoots as word. I approve.


                            I managed to spend less than 15 minutes figuring out how to edit old posts. Editing old posts is very important because my grammar and spelling are of the worst sort and people seem to not read things that have bad punctuation and grammar. I keep hearing about how American's grammar is for shit, but excepting myself I don't see it.

                            Greetings Internet

                            I'm a writer not a webmaster, but generating interest in my work (or money for my food) irl has not been very win so I came here. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. Hopefully this is entertaining for some of you, educational for me, or (god forbid) lucrative for me. Really accomplishing any of those will have to suffice.