Monday, April 5, 2010
What to write/edit... So many priorities.
I could work on my current novel project, a project which has been dangerously neglected since the discovery of hubbing and now runs the risk of dying in my imagination and joining the legion of almost novels I've written. I could adapt more old school essays to hub articles but none of them seem like they will lead to marketable hubs. still I guess they could still bring in traffic. I could really let my internet ambitions loose and finish the second half of the failure of the fourth estate or write more about ADHD. I could really go for the gusto and turn one of my hub ideas into reality but I think I would want to take my time and really get my shit together for that first. hmmmmmm, I need a job.
SpoCon Warhammer Tournaments Named Games Workshop National Qualifiers
All Spokane area tabletop gamers will be excited to know that SpoCon 2010 has been named a Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 national qualifier by Games Workshop. This means that the top two finishers of this year’s SpoCon Warhammer and Warhammer 40k tournaments will receive an invitation to play in the Vegas Finals Invitational tournament in Las Vegas in 2011 the North American championship tournament. Games Workshop has changed the qualifications system this year and SpoCon hosts one of the tournaments that will now be included in this new system. The transition has forced Games Workshop to extend this years qualification season to 18 months so the winners of SpoCon will not compete at the national level until 2011. This year SpoCon has 20 spots for Warhammer fantasy competitors and 40 for Warhammer 40k, though really only 39 will be available as last year’s champion, Bob Kelley, will likely return and is guaranteed a place. SpoCon’s inclusion as a national qualifier will likely bring a larger number of serious competitors to this years tournaments as players hoping to make an appearance in Las Vegas that have not secured an invitation come to Spokane for another attempt. Those wishing to participate in either the fantasy or the 40k tournaments must register for SpoCon 2010 and contact Big Chris at the SpoCon website before the open spots all fill up.
A Lymeric I Wrote in High School
There once was a boy named osama.
He grew up and became a bomba.
He blew up a building,
And started the killing,
But now he runs home to his mama.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Case For Caps to Indicate Yelling in Proper English:
- What if you yell a question? If you add an exclamation point after a question mark your editor’s ass will clench up so tight he could shit a singularity. [why is it exclamation point instead of mark?]
- What if you only yell part of the sentence? Emphasis changes the meaning.
- Extensive research by the linguistics research group 4chan has proven its effectiveness to be greater than punctuation marks.
- I say it’s a good idea and I wouldn’t lie to you about this; not punctuation.
Anti-depressants: A short play:
-Pat: I’m depressed, I wish I weren’t.
-Pat presses play on track Battle
-music starts
-Pat: That was… fast. Who made this song and how does their devil magic work?
[These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA]
The Cross Country Calamity
I did cross country my freshman year, I’d hate to sound negative but it was terrible, totally terrible. At meets we would run two laps around an enormous course for a total close to five miles.
In my first race a girl named Shanon Bell lapped me. At first glance this doesn’t seem embarrassing; she went to state and was the best runner the girls team had. The problem was that the girls race started a half our after the boys, nearly everyone finishes the race within a half hour, I got lapped by speedy.
It’s supposed to get you in shape. The reasons people get in shape are things like to give them more energy and stay healthy and many enjoy it. The end result of cross country was the opposite of all those things. I was always exhausted, it hurt to walk up the stairs, and I have never been so close to taking a human life. If I had been able to move after a meet, I’d have made the national news that night.
World of Warcraft is expensive, addictive, and fairly detrimental to your social skills, but there is one fact about it never gets mentioned when it is compared to sports. No one has ever blown out their knee playing World of Warcraft.
Some might feel a sense of accomplishment or triumph upon completing the race but by that time I’m so tired I don’t give a shit. Everyone’s all cheering and peppy when all I want from them is to let me die in peace.
I’m never running again. I don’t care if in a burning building I walkin’ out.
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